In this episode, hypnotherapist, retreat leader, and founder of Priestess in Jeans, Deimanté Ona, joins me to talk about the witch wound, the invisible weight so many women carry that keeps us small, quiet, and afraid to be fully seen. We get into what it actually looks like to heal it, in your body, your business, and your relationships.
In this episode, we talk about:
- healing the witch wound and visibility wound
- reclaiming your voice as a woman
- subconscious reprogramming for visibility and worth
- Human Design and being a projector
- nervous system tools for anxiety before you show up
- motherhood as a spiritual identity shift
- releasing your worth from external validation
- reclaiming the word witch
- boundaries and speaking your truth
Connect with Deimanté:
Website: www.priestessinjeans.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/priestessinjeans
Email: hello@themindfulsun.com
Practical Magic Witch Camp Retreat: https://priestessinjeans.com/practical-magic-retreat
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Full Episode Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated, so a few words may be a little off.
Deimante: I feel like I'm meant to like show up and share something. And on the drive there, like I can't make this up. my throat started closing up and I started to feel like as if there was like shards in my throat, like like spikes or something, like as if there's like needles or like something. Like physically, my throat started closing up on my drive there. And I got there early. I sat in my car. And I was like, okay, like what the fuck is this? And I closed my eyes and I literally saw these like dark shards in my throat. And I got the energetic download. It's the witch wound, it's still present. There's another level of it to clear it. And I was like, I am not going to let this thing like win. I know this is what I'm supposed to do. And this is f it just felt like a threshold that I had to cross.
Sasha Pearl: have you ever said yes when you meant no or shrunk yourself in a room? and held back the thing that you actually wanted to say. Well, there's a reason for that. Today I'm talking with De Monte Ona, a hypnotherapist, ceremony leader, and founder of Priestess in Jeans, about something called the Witch Wound. Ooh, spooky! Deamante now calls it the visibility wound. But it's why you people please. It's why you play small and it's asking for what you actually want can feel dangerous in your body and not just uncomfortable. So we get into where this wound comes from and how it shows up in your life right now and what it actually takes to fully heal it. As always, I'm your host, Sasha Pearl, the Energy Architect and I guide solid women in building authentic six-figure businesses online. While lining their identity, their brand, and their content from the inside out. But before we hop into this episode, I have just launched Human First Content Intensive, Where we go over your unique energetics and how you can use that to inform how you create content because content does not need to suck and it can be so much fun to create, especially when you are coming from your why, from your alignment, and from what you truly want to share with the world. So you'll be getting a playbook that breaks down all of your unique energetics and how to actually layer that into the content that you make and a content calendar. that will support you in really building out a robust and aligned calendar that really reflects who you are in the world. So much fun. And then of course we hop into a 90-minute strategy call where we start yapping about all the things that you can do and strategize within your social media. link will be in the show notes to book a discovery call with me so we can chat about it. And with further ado, let's get into it. Welcome to the podcast. Today on the Have you Mat You podcast, we have Day Monte Anna, Priestess in Jeans. Thank you so much for being on.
Deimante: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.
Sasha Pearl: Me too. So tell tell the people, the wonderful people in the world, what you do.
Deimante: I feel like it's always like such a complicated question,
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: but I will try to simplify it. so I really work with women. I kind of I love combining subconscious mind reprogramming because we are deeply complex spiritual beings, but we're here in a human body with a human brain. So we work with subconscious patterns that essentially keep women from being visible that keep them playing small. so that they can be seen and paid for the gifts and really create a life that they desire. And then as well as the subconscious reprogramming, I lead a lot of secret feminine teachings and incorporate energy and ritual and ceremony in my work as well.
Sasha Pearl: Wonderful. And you do a lot of ceremony in nature, right?
Deimante: I do, yes. I I'm a self proclaimed nature witch. So a lot of time I will include kind of working with the elements and energies of the earth into our healing and embodiment. Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: I love that. And you always call yourself or I don't know if you're still calling yourself this though, but you call yourself a professional witch, right?
Deimante: It's just a nice icebreaker.
Sasha Pearl: No, I love it because I we talk a lot about identity on this podcast and I I think that it's such a taboo thing to say and people are like, What the fuck is a professional witch? So I would love to hear more about your story and journey to getting to this this identity of just being like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna call myself a professional witch.
Deimante: it's been a long journey to get here for sure. So I feel like most people probably wouldn't think this because, like you said, I'm so just like open and be like, this is who I am, this is what I do. And if you weird it out, great. but most of my life actually spent in a spiritual closet. So a lot of people go through spiritual awakenings. I never had a spiritual awakening. I feel like I came. Into this world, just aware of things that I like maybe other people weren't. And I mostly just had like a spiritual deepening, let's say. And I feel like when I had my spiritual deepening, there was just a moment in my life in my late twenties where I was like, I feel like I'm suffocating. Like I'm not being my full authentic self. I'm keeping this huge piece of who I am, just like. Away from the world, away even from like my closest relationships, just like somewhere stuffed in a closet. And a time came and I was like, I can't do that anymore. Like I just need to be fully myself. And in order to do that, I had to heal something that's known as the witch wound. have you heard of that?
Sasha Pearl: I have heard of I think you've spoken about it and I'm like, Yeah, I get it. I'm like, no, I really don't know what that means. So I would love for you to dive deep into the witch wound because I think it also leads lends itself to the visit the visibility wound as well, correct?
Deimante: Yeah, so I would say it's like it's very close to linked. It's pretty much the same thing. But essentially, almost every woman, some of us carry it deeper than others. if you think about it, even if you don't believe in past lives, there's such a thing as like ancestral trauma that gets passed down to us from ourselves and the programming. Like if you think about it, if you think about let's say like hundreds and hundreds of years ago when which trials were happened. If a mother, like if a mother saw her friends be persecuted, what would she say to her daughters? She would say, You need to be quiet, you need to make yourself smaller, we don't talk about this, we don't do this, we hide this. And then that programming is still in some ways present in this day, right? Where like we've kind of just been programmed to Keep ourselves smaller, to not talk about certain things, not do certain things, not draw attention to ourselves, because it literally was not safe to do so. And that has kind of just like really affected how women operate in the world right now. And from a more spiritual lens, it's very likely that many of us are witches that have come back, that we probably did actually get burnt at the stake, or we saw our closest friends, or Or grandmothers be persecuted, or some or that happens somewhere in our lineage. So we carry this really, really big collective wound, which then presents as probably more commonly known as the visibility wound, where you or you we say yes when we want to say no, where we hide parts of ourselves that we think will get shunned or won't let us be accepted, where we Don't actually ask for what we truly want or what we deserve, where we try to just like fit ourselves into like a little comfortable little box, like you know, kind of being like the nice girl, right? Where it pleases everybody else, does what everybody else wants. There's so I could talk about this all day. There's so many different ways how the witch wound presents itself. But the first time that I kind of learned about it was through a very Physical body experience. When I actually decided to start my own podcast, this was about, I think about six years ago. And I was like, I am going to start a podcast about manifestation because that's something else that I used to mentor and teach in. I used to teach women like how to actually manifest things into reality that they want. And I was like, I'm gonna do a podcast about this. But if you think about it, we've come so far in six years. Six years ago, 99% of people didn't know what the fuck manifestation meant or what it was. Right? Like
Sasha Pearl: That's true.
Deimante: we've like, I feel like we've like jumped timelines. And now it's like, I I saw, I remember like, I think this was like two years ago. I went on the Twitter account of Amazon, like the huge company, and they literally said BRB manifesting our wish list. And I was like, Wow, this would have never happened five years ago. It's it's become like a lot more mainstream and accepted. But when I decided to start my podcast and I was like, I wanna work with women, I wanna coach them, I want to actually like demystify what manifestation actually is and make them apply it. That wasn't something that was kind of widely out there. So I was like, I'm gonna create a podcast to talk about it. And I remember when I went to like Prest kind of like publish on my first episode, and I thought I was going to throw up. Physically I was like shaking, I felt nauseous. I felt so it was so visceral that it actually like took me like out of my body. And I kind of asked myself, I was like, what the fuck is this? And where is this coming from? And why am I so scared to do this? Because just like logically, it was just so strong in my body that like logically I couldn't explain it. And that's when I kind of started like deep diving and doing research and realizing that so many women experience this. When it actually comes and it it doesn't necessarily have to be with it being visible in spiritual things. It can be like any kind of visibility where like maybe you're speaking in a room full of people or You want to ask your boss for a raise, like any situation. But for me specifically, what triggered it was talking about spirituality. And very interestingly, you know, if somebody asked me before that point, being like, do you care what people think? And I would have been like, fuck no. I wear what I want, I do what I want. And then when I actually went to launch this podcast, I realized, I actually do care. People think when it comes to the thing that feels like it's like me st standing naked in front of the world. And I was like, people are gonna think I'm weird or like I'm out there, or I'm woo-woo, or not taking me seriously. And it just like plunged me into this journey of just like reclaiming and owning who I am. I feel so passionate about women reclaiming the word witch because I feel like it became this like derogatory thing. This thing that people were scared of, or you would be judged for, all looked down on for. And I'm like, no, we need to reclaim that word. A a witch is just a woman who's like in touch with her intuition, in touch with her power, in touch with the elements, connected to the earth, connected to the cycles of the earth. It's like, I feel like a woman is just a witch who is in the flow of life rather than against it. yeah, so that's how I discovered what the winch wound with the witch wound was.
Sasha Pearl: Well, so in so you felt this like visceral filling in your body and you're like, what is this coming? Like what is com what is this? And then were you like, immediately which wound? Or you had to go like go and surface how did you know to start at which wound? Or you know what I mean?
Deimante: It came as a knowing. So when I asked what is that, it was like this. I can't I don't have visceral like past life memories of like being burnt or anything like that. I'm sure they're there. I don't think I need to access them. I don't have any desired access to, but it came as a knowing. Like just this like I don't know, I I always feel like I also want like use my hands, being like it felt like it came from like the earth and up, rather than like from my head. It kind of just landed as this knowing, being like, it's because it didn't used to be safe to talk about anything that wasn't like deemed mainstream. And I think there's just like there's somewhere in myself, there's like remembrance of that. Because that's what it felt like. It felt like someone was about to come in and like hurt me. Like I I just can't even explain it. I it was so crazy. Like it logically I'm like it's so silly and dumb and doesn't make any sense, but just how visceral it was in my body. And then I started, yeah, I started kind of like researching about it. Is this like a thing that other people experience? Is this common? Just like reading, finding like random little blog posts that other like witches have written and talked about. Yeah, so it was all it was very like intuition led.
Sasha Pearl: Whoa, okay. So Des Monte is a two-four projector with splenic authority. So ha her knowings happen in the moment and immediately. So you have to, as a splenic authority, you have to be super tapped in to yourself for you to witness what is worth, you know, i exploring more of. So I love that you are just like naturally like, I'm gonna go explore what this witch wound is. So as far as the visibility wound then. The aspect that is calling to me from the witch wound is just like this, like wanting to place to be small to stay safe and protect protect themselves from being witnessed. Or how would you describe the difference between the witch wound and the visibility wound? Or would you just be like those are exactly the same?
Deimante: I think I feel like they're the same thing with a different name. And I think probably not everybody would resonate with the word witch wound because some women would be like, well, I don't feel like I'm a witch. So like how versus like I feel like the visibility wound, like most women can be like, yeah, like my chest kind of tightens when I think about that. and I think maybe in some ways, I feel like maybe in some ways the witch wound is a little bit. Deeper, I feel like for some women, they may not feel like nervous about spiritual stuff, but may just feel like nervous about just being seen in the world, right? And being attracting attention to themselves. So that's I guess I guess there is a way where it could just be more of just a visibility wound, but then it could be like the visibility wound and the witch wound to where you like literally feel like there's some unexplainable thing where you just like don't feel safe.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: To talk about your beliefs or anything that's kind of like out of what's considered the norm. Does that answer your question?
Sasha Pearl: Yeah, definitely. So I know because so Des Monte and I are the co-founders of Wildlone Wealthy. And we actually met at a networking event. and so what's really interesting, I think, about us meeting and so divinely timed, and like I think that we I think we have probably known each other in a different lifetime or something, but that it really felt like so kismet to have met you at that networking event because the trajectory that we're both on right now. And I think that what we're really like focusing on is the visibility wound is how do we become more visible in the world in a way that's super aligned to us. So what are some things that you've had to like overcome or work through in the process of, you know, being seen and like being a leader and a witch in this in this time?
Deimante: Yeah, so first of all, yes, I we it was amazing. Actually, like I'm just gonna tell our listeners a little bit quickly about how we met. I just saw Sasha, this not working on she was wearing this like super colorful bright like sweater thing. And I just saw her in a bright red hair and I was like, I wanna be friends with her. I seek her out. the rest was
Sasha Pearl: I immediately asked you if you were like a projector or something. Or maybe you had projector or something on your name tag.
Deimante: No, I think you did. maybe I did. I don't know. But
Sasha Pearl: maybe
Deimante: we got talking about human design and I was like, You're a projector, I'm a projector. You're like, you know what that is.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah. I mean as soon as someone tells me they're a projector, I'm like immediately you're my friend.
Deimante: Yeah, I feel like if guys, if you're listening, everyone needs at least one projector friend in their life. I swear to God. Because
Sasha Pearl: Yeah. If you want to go deep and you want to like see yourself really, have a projector sit in front of you and you ask them open ended questions and they'll tell you. We really do.
Deimante: Yeah, it's like we see into your soul. Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: and then we try to get coffee multiple times. And then I think it was like nine months later we finally got coffee because you you had some health stuff that come that came up. and we sat down and I think you're the one who like initiated the conversation of like, I really want we see I see a white
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: space, like how can we get like a community and a network together.
Deimante: Yeah, and then we made it happen. And it was funny, the first planning event that we the fli first planning meetup for Wildville and Wealthy, of course, Sasha brought an Oracle deck and we pulled cards and it was like the witchiest beginnings ever. Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: we pulled a serendipity and it has this like lucky charm on it and rainbows and like it was just very it was like we're both well I'm very Irish. We both have red hair though I just feel like it's very like Irish of us to go. Okay, yeah.
Deimante: Yeah, and I grew up in Ireland, so
Sasha Pearl: I was like wait it's a Lithuanian. yes. So it's just really interesting because I think our we A we're meant to meet B we're meant to be bringing this like community of women together in such a visible way and like Our first event was the first event where I was like, Damonse is like, you can do the first event, and I was like, Okay. Thinking there'd be like 10 people there. And I was like, okay, this will be the first time speaking publicly to people. I had just changed my name, my entire denny had just shifted. and then there was like 40 women there, and it was my first speaking event. And I was like, What am I doing? Like, me, even a year ago, would have been like, You're fucking insane. Like, I was so terrified of public speaking
Deimante: No.
Sasha Pearl: because I didn't even trust my own voice, which is why I love talking about this like visibility wound and like the identity you have to like walk through over and over and over again because because it's your truth, honestly, is is what
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: on the pedestal is your truth that you get to share. And it I think for me it's like, well, if I'm sharing my truth from a s a place of like service to others, for other people to remember who they truly are, like there's there's there's no way I can like falter or wobble on on that p on
Deimante: Totally.
Sasha Pearl: on not on a pedestal, but just like in the world, you know. So what is yours? Yeah, what is your story?
Deimante: Yeah. And yeah. And so, you know, I'm gonna come back to but first I think I wanna talk about my first public speaking event because this brought stuff up for me. so for five years I did my business all online. So I had a mystery school, I had multiple coaching group programs, working with people one-on-one, and then something happened where I was like I feel like my business as it was. Like I literally like burnt it to the ground because I feel like everything inside me was calling me to work with people more in person and gather women together, like the old times, like the old ways. Cause I feel like when women gather together in a room, something just so magical happens that we can't even fully comprehend. And I felt like, like you said, I was like, I feel like I need to be even more visible. And there was something about I've overcome a lot of my kind of fears and wounding to show up like a leader in person. I've worked with hundreds of women all over the world. I've led like workshops where there's 10 people, I've led workshops where there's like a hundred people. And I started to get really comfortable. So I guess to start how I got there, it was just I had to reach for all of my tools. So I'm a trained hypnotherapist, hence why I also love working with the subconscious mind. I literally hypnotized myself into like nervous system capacity to feel safe to show up. So a lot of a lot of meditation, a lot of hypnosis work, a lot of kind of like sitting in ceremony and just like calling like those aspects of myself, those higher aspects of myself that knows I'm meant to do this, like into my body to come forward. And I got there, but then when I decided to start taking my work in person, I was like, this feels terrifying all over again. So fun. I thought we dealt with this. And I it was actually, it wasn't even that long ago. And I went to visit some friends for my birthday in Austin, back where I used to live. And one of my friends was putting on like a creative open night, open mic night. And I was like, I feel like I'm meant to like show up and share something. And on the drive there, like I can't make this up. I f my throat started closing up and I started to feel like as if there was like shards in my throat, like like spikes or something, like as if there's like needles or like something. Like physically, my throat started showing through closing up on my drive there. And I got there early. I stu I sat in my car. And I was like, okay, like what the fuck is this? And I closed my eyes and I literally saw these like dark shards in my throat. And I got the energetic download. It's the witch wound, it's still present. There's another level of it to clear it. And literally sitting in my car, I was like doing energy work on my throat, clearing it, removing it. And I was like, It again, it was so it's just interesting how it's presented so viscerally. Like it wasn't even like really in my mind. It was like all in my physical body. I felt anxious. my throat my throat was dry on top of that. And I was like, I am not going to let this thing like win. I know this is what I'm supposed to do. And this is f it just felt like a threshold that I had to cross. And I feel like anybody who is carrying this wound, there's gonna be a threshold. That it's gonna feel so far out of your comfort zone. Whether it's like starting that business or leading that workshop or like pitching yourself to that client, it can be different things for everyone. It's not to say that it's speaking in front of loads of people for everybody. For someone, it can be as simple as like sending an email with your prices in your business. Like and it feels like you're gonna contract. And you just need to walk through that threshold and just trust that what's on the other side is gonna be so much healing. And I got to the I got to the event. They had like an open tea bar and I l I love to work with herbs. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna work with Rose. I'm gonna work with nettle to kind of to do that divine protection and cleansing. And then I sat down and I shared my story. It was only like a five-minute open mic, but I feel like I felt so alive and just like buzzing and such a high. And I was like, after that, it was like. I crossed it. And then whenever we did like our events and I started leading in-person ceremony gatherings here in Bent and leading retreats. And all of a sudden, like it just that like it wasn't there anymore. The wounding was gone. Like it feels like I'm just like, this is who I've been working towards becoming for years, like probably
Sasha Pearl: Right, yeah.
Deimante: lifetimes. And just like stepping into that. But it all starts with taking those super, super uncomfortable steps where it does feel like maybe you're gonna wobble and just like just f do being shaky and being scared and just doing it anyway.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah. I really love that you were I love that you brought it back to like your your body always will tell you what is going on. And so instead of like shutting down being like I can't do this, it's like, how do I work with you? How do I ease you? How do I regulate you in the throat? because I know after our first event, I got so sick and it attacked my throat. It attacked like my body attacked my throat. And every time if I think about when I was sick when I was younger too, It would always be my thrill. It'd always be a sore throat. It would always be loss of voice. It was always something, yeah.
Deimante: Me too. Me too.
Sasha Pearl: And I was just like, I can't if I if I say I want to be a speaker, I cannot create this type of chaos before an event to where my entire nervous system just gets like completely blown away. But I love to your point, it's like as soon as I walked through that threshold, I was like, my god, this is exactly what I need to do. And that's what I think Wild Well and Wealthy was for both of us was actually We created a whole world, but it was actually meant it was meant for us and our next portal and threshold of like leadership and embodiment of like really leading this like new way of building businesses because we know it's not just strategy, it's also the energetics, the mindset, the somatic work. and we get to practice that because we're building such such a beautiful c community in that way. So as far as what you know. about like the nervous system and nervous system regulation and the witch wound, visibility wound, loss of our voices. Like what is your perspective and philosophy around around how how can we really step into and embody this like the bigness, this wholeness, the power that we all hold? Like we literally create life, which I really want to talk about motherhood with you too after work after this. yeah, what what is your philosophy around it?
Deimante: wow, that's a very loaded question.
Sasha Pearl: Right.
Deimante: it's a very loaded question. I think I think the first is working with your body because like I said, like we're all very complex spiritual being beings, but we are in the human body and unfortunately governed by the laws of the human body and physics and all of that. one of the things that I personally like to do this is like a somatic tip for anybody. Who, if you're doing something that you feel like it's just like putting it towards that threshold where you feel anxious or maybe scared, or you're like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to speak and say what I need to say, comfort yourself. Literally like holding yourself, like hugging yourself, holding yourself as if you're like a little baby. I personally like really like to like do like gentle little touches on my chest. And I will literally say to myself, you are safe. You are safe. you are held. It's almost like you're talking with your inner child because that's really like who kind of like freaks out and you're calming them and just like there's something. So I feel like we don't do this enough. Most of the time we outsource our comfort to other people. But actually if more people started also like just going inward and comforting themselves, like that it in itself can bring so much healing. So there's a lot of different things you can do. I think moving your body, I think dancing is also really, really powerful. Dancing shakes out a lot of stagnant emotion. I feel like it kind of like clears our energy field. And you're like, for me personally, I feel like especially when you're doing like the freeform dancing where you're not trying to be perfect or follow steps, but you're just putting on your favorite song and you're letting your body intuitively move. I feel like that puts us back in flow with the universe. Chanting is also really another really powerful practice, especially for your voice. So I used to literally physically, I feel like I couldn't like get my voice very loud before I like before I did all this work. And now like I will sometimes literally like I'll just be driving in a car and I will just like make kind of like weird noises or like chanting and like activating your throat chakra and letting that get louder. And I think it is important to do it in a place where you feel like you have privacy, where you can actually feel safe. So, like if you have a lot of voice stuff and you're really nervous, then I probably wouldn't recommend going straight to like a 30 people group chanting class, but maybe just starting at home when you're alone by yourself. so those are some of the things, some of like really practical things that people can do. But obviously, like everybody is different and there are different Journeys. I guess one more thing I will share, and this is something that I've facilitated for so many of my clients, is I sometimes lead a ceremony called like meet your future self, where I will literally take them on like a timeline healing journey and kind of like we're bringing in like quantum and energetics into the but essentially where they literally like get a glimpse into their future self who already is embodying all of the qualities that they want. They go to meet her. And they go to feel what it's like to be her. And then they start to and they literally like bring back some of those qualities. So I did that for myself a lot at the start of when I first started my priestess and genes, my spiritual business. when I would be like so nervous to promote it and talk about it, I did that a lot. I would like visualize and go and meet version of me who was already doing this, who'd been doing this for years, was successful, and then like start bringing those qualities back. So there's there's a lot of like little tangible things there. So hopefully that helps to answer your question.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah, absolutely. And then do you have like any philosophies around like the loss of our voices?
Deimante: What do you mean by that?
Sasha Pearl: So, like just in the sense of like how there's something around like the women, it goes into the witch wound still, which is like losing our voice to say safe. Right. And so I'm just curious is like, what is was your journey journey in like building your voice back up? Is it ju Was it just like an intuitive like timeline and like activations that just kept happening and like life experiences that just kept happening where you're like, okay, I guess I'm gonna walk through this one. Okay, I guess I'm gonna walk through this one. Like would you say it's like a choice, a practice? just it just is. You know, what is your philosophy as around like just healing the voice as a woman?
Deimante: I think it's a choice. I
Sasha Pearl: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Deimante: think it's a choice. I think you have to choose. I think you have to look at your life really like as a as a spectator, taking like a step back and be like, where am I not using my voice in my relationships, in my career, in my friendships, like in my life? And then be like How can I reclaim that bit by bit? A lot of it also, I feel like the witch wound and the voice and visibility wound. There's a lot of work with boundaries there as well. Because
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: a lot of the time, like we don't have strong enough boundaries and then we like don't use our voice and it's all linked. So I think sometimes in order to be able to use our voice, we have to also work on like our energetic boundaries. And yeah, I f I definitely think it's a choice. Like I do, I do believe that life will present you with opportunities for that healing. in a way that maybe we wouldn't even choose. They just kind of get presented. But I think how we react to that and whether we actually choose to do something different and choose to embody and use and express more of our voice, I do believe that's a choice. Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think I kept someone I think I was talking to someone. They're like, they're gonna just keep send like the universe is gonna keep sending you that same situation through a different flavor until you learn what you're here to learn. And it's like when people are like, Gosh, this keeps happening to me. It's like, Well, actually that's like that's your sign to like look a little deeper as to why.
Deimante: It's yeah, it's happening for a reason. So for me, I feel like I had that lesson in some ways like very, very early in life. My first ever relationship that I was in. I was just a teenager and it was very abusive. And it was a relationship where like my voice really tried to be like taken away from me, all of my like self expression. Like he tried to like control everything that I said or who I talked to or what I wore. It was very intense. And I feel like it took It took some time, but then I was like, I get to choose actually and fuck this. And I'm walking away and no man will ever talk to me like this ever again. And it had to be a choice. And I I have friends who unfortunately didn't learn that lesson first time around and they end up repeating the same patterns in in having like maybe in their careers where the boss treats them like shit and doesn't listen to what they need or Or you know what I'm saying, or in like personal relationships or even in friendships where they're not seen or valued or respected. And it just keeps repeating. And honestly though, like I'd I would love to say be like, I'm just like super walled, but I'd probably had like multiple lifetimes where I didn't learn the lessons.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: And I came into this one, I'm like, Okay, we're gonna nail it early on. I feel like that's probably why
Sasha Pearl: Well yeah, because okay, so both Daymante and I are both Tauruses, we both are projectors and we're both Venus and Aries. So like when we're fucking done, we're fucking done. And we don't have a lot of
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: patience.
Deimante: And we're both panded. I know that's not relevant, but like
Sasha Pearl: yeah, and we're both left-handed. And we're both legends. Forgot about the left-handed too. But I feel like there it's just so fascinating to me to like be in conversations with people where you're like, as projectors, we can really see you and we can see those patterns. And so when you're talking to your friends that you love so dearly and you're like, you're causing yourself so much pain. It's choose differently. And if you keep choosing the same different
Deimante: Yeah, it's so hard.
Sasha Pearl: I know. Well, Dave Monte and I were talking to our a mutual friend in person and sh sh she's telling us a story and Dave Monte's face is just like I was like Dave Monte, your face.
Deimante: You like change your face.
Sasha Pearl: I changed your face.
Deimante: It's because like us as projectors, we can like see your potential. We can see your light. And like if only like you saw yourself, how like we see you, you would like never let anyone treat you like shit ever again. But it's also like
Sasha Pearl: and I just had so many shelves. Yeah.
Deimante: But it's also like not our place, right? As projectors, we're supposed to like take a step back and just kind of watch it just so hard.
Sasha Pearl: No, I know. And what's funny is that she's also a protector, but our friend. I feel like I was gonna say something else about that. but yeah, we just yeah, we we I think because we have the Taurus and we have the Aries and Venus, it is actually and we're projectors. Projectors shadows, like if we don't see ourselves and our own worth, no one else is ever gonna see our own worth, right?
Deimante: Mm.
Sasha Pearl: And so I don't know. I'm trying to think of like when I've learned that because I've I'm definitely attracting a lot of a different type of people and a caliber of people and There's lot more discernment. Maybe that's just getting older and wiser because my twenties was I attract a lot of the darkness because they could see my light, right? So what what has your relationship then to like
Deimante: I so deeply relate to this. I'm gonna use an example. So
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: I remember I remember when I first started precessing jeans and I was kind of like looking for clients and I remember just thinking, when I hit like hit this amount of clients or like this many people in my program, I'm gonna feel like so confident and like I've made it and and then I remember the exact moment when I hit that. And then I was like, huh, I still feel the same. I don't feel any different. And I feel like honestly, for me, it's been like a it's been a long journey of many years. this is my second business. I'm also a professional photographer. I did that full-time for five years. And it really took a lot of work to be like my external productivity or how much money I make or how many clients I have. Does not define my worth and how good I am at what I do and my gifts. And in order for me to actually fully embody that, it took me basically firing all of my paying paying clients, which was terrifying.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: So I had a mystery school, which is I still love that mystery school so much, but it just came a time where I was like, I feel like. I need to put it on a shelf and it's gonna come back at some point, but I need to put it on a shelf. That's like what the universe, what the goddess is telling me. And I just remember just being like, no, like I don't want to do that. Like, this is terrifying. And then I kind of just like ask myself, I feel like I have a lot of just like internal conversations, and I really feel like that's key. It's creating space to be like quiet and still enough to where you can actually communicate with yourself. And I was like, Why do I not want to let go of this? I can tell that it's the right time. Like I remember literally the day I decided and I was like I did myself an Oracle pull and I was like, all right, goddess, I want you to be really obvious to me. And I pulled three cards. The first card was it's some it said literally said, time for new beginnings. Another card was like Chapter is closing. Another one was a girl about to jump off the cliff, being like, you need to be brave and jump into the unknown. And then a song, I can't make this shit up, I swear. A song came on on Spotify that was literally singing about like endings and beginning. And I was just sat there like my god! Like, wow, okay. This is like as obvious as it can be. And I still I was like, but it's so hard. And then I asked myself, I was like, why does it feel so hard to let this go? because I luckily I was in a place financially where like I could do that without worrying, but I it's like I it was so hard. And the answer came to me was like, because who am I if I don't have paying clients? And what does it mean about me? And I was like, holy shit, okay, I still carry some of this wounding. still carry some of this like self-war stuff that I already thought I like dealt with. And it was just like the next level of just like sitting in this nothingness in this kind of like empty space to see what wants to come through next and loving myself enough and feeling like I am enough without the kind of like external proof of it. so I did I fired all clients.
Sasha Pearl: So okay, Dave Monte and I both do you have a completely open ego, do you know? I know it's not
Deimante: I don't remember.
Sasha Pearl: But that's the whole the not self.
Deimante: Probably probably most of my centers are o open.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah, you yeah. Yeah, they are so sensitive. But we both have our an undefined ego and it's all about the not self of it is proving our worth, right? This
Deimante: Mm.
Sasha Pearl: sense of like we have to prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, and then we'll be and then we'll feel like success when actually the whole the truth of the matter is, to your point, is like actually our success is already us recognizing ourselves without the external validation. And I think that's
Deimante: Mm
Sasha Pearl: for everyone. It's like how can we actually recognize ourselves?
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: And serve from that place versus like I'm gonna serve because then then I get the external validation that I'm on the right path or then I'll Yeah.
Deimante: Yeah, then I then I feel good enough. Then yeah.
Sasha Pearl: But it's like the trap. And I think the I mean, I don't know what your childhood was like, but my mom was very, very much like, We have to look a certain way, we have to act a certain way, and then the society that because we we moved a lot as kids, then they'll they'll approve of us and then we'll be like part of the community. Right. And
Deimante: Mm.
Sasha Pearl: so when that is like modeled to you, it's like, okay, I am going to seek outside of myself for all validation. But I remember as a kid, I'm like, Mom, I don't I don't get it. Like you're not like this isn't you. Like I remember having like projector child, manifesting generator mother with all of her generational trauma. And it was just like I just remember always being so confused. I'm like, I just don't understand why she can't see herself. Right? Like as a kid.
Deimante: So beautiful. I give me shivers.
Sasha Pearl: But it's your root.
Deimante: Literally, you know. But it's true, it's like even when you have that deeper like soul awareness, your brain still gets programmed.
Sasha Pearl: yeah. And I I mean I think both like for you you just like quit. You're like you're like we're done with all the clients. And for me, I'm like been in this like consistent pivot of like, well, it's not I don't think it's this because I'm so stuck in the doing. And I'm like, how do I like I think as for projectors, it's like the question is how can I actually operate from my being in a way that's gonna create success,
Deimante: Mm-hmm.
Sasha Pearl: mo money, you know, relationships and like really truly be the magnet of the life that we want. And that's where I'm like, that's what I want to like I would just like want to write that like somewhere and just like how can I keep operating from being versus doing? Because our insights is actually what is going to help guide other people in such a deeper, deeper way.
Deimante: Yeah, totally. And I feel like
Sasha Pearl: Right.
Deimante: too, like the doing sometimes prevents the being, right? Because we get so busy with doing. But I think like I don't know about you, but I think especially like us projectors, like we're not supposed to be doing as much as other people, but we're but we don't know that until we like maybe learn about our human design. So I've always really been very into doing, like I've reached burned now multiple times. because that's what we think like we're supposed to do. And just even like Allowing myself to be like, I don't have to do as much to achieve what I want. It was like a whole journey.
Sasha Pearl: Yeah, well, and I mean, I don't know, for for me, I'm like, yeah, the doing definitely made me six figures and all the things, but like now I'm tired. I I don't feel connected to the work that I do and I'm passionate about something completely different now. Right. And it's like, shit. The transition, the identities and the thresholds and the portals I've had to walk through just to be like you can still make money without doing all the things and just like be more in the being of like who you are. It's like, how do I get more fully expressed into the world and allow that to inform the rest, the rest of how life unfolds.
Deimante: No, no, no.
Sasha Pearl: Right. It's a practice I'm still in the doing, trust me. But I I'm aw there is an awareness. There is an awareness.
Deimante: I feel like I feel like a I feel like a lot of these things though, like really in my belief, like as long as we're alive, we should be growing and expanding and like changing. So if you ever like meet anyone who's like, yeah, I'm like, I fully dealt with that. And I'm just like, no,
Sasha Pearl: I don't believe you.
Deimante: I don't think so. There's more layers. Like there's a an an old mentor used to have used to say new level, new devil.
Sasha Pearl: It's so true. And I think when you're in, you know, building your own business, like you go through those levels and devils really quickly. And then when you s continue not to face the devil, it continues to throw it in your face. And you continue to learn the lesson. So I would love to hear more, because I know we briefly talked about this, but I know motherhood has really you were or sh okay. Damante is truly a witch, like one of the most intuitive people that I know. And also someone who can see synchronicities and set like synchronicities always happen for you. And it's because you're so
Deimante: Right.
Sasha Pearl: open to receiving them. It's part of how your language and communication with the unseen, right? I feel like motherhood though has like completely opened like another, like an even deeper level for you. So I would love to hear and
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: I only know that because you told me that. So would love to hear your
Deimante: Yeah, totally. So
Sasha Pearl: Motherhood brain.
Deimante: my gosh, so much to say. So I've always identified as a witch from honestly from like a very young age. I come through I come from like a long line of witches in my family. but something that I did not realize I was until I had my daughters was a priestess and walking the priestess path. And having my first daughter, I feel like in general, like motherhood. I believe that as woman there is no other threshold and portal that is going to just completely remake you the way that motherhood does. I feel like you give birth to a baby and you die, like spiritually, metaphorically speaking, and then kind of like slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly you're reborn. And For me, I feel like when I became pregnant with my daughter, there's a lot of like ancestral, there's a lot of like poverty and suffering and yes, like the witch wound, there's a lot of dark stuff in my lineage that I was like, I do not want to pass this along to my daughters. So in some ways, just from making that choice, being like, we're gonna start again, and they will not get all This like generational ancestral trauma that I was blessed with. but my mother and grandmother, through no fault of their own, you know, cycles just repeat. And I was like, we're gonna break those cycles. So I feel like when I became pregnant with my daughter, I really like my spiritual practice became just like such a not non-negotiable for me. Like I would sit. In ceremony, I would sit in meditation, I would sit in ritual, I would just kind of keep choosing like the highest path, the biggest light. And when I give birth to my first daughter, yeah, it's there's something just opens up that I truly like don't even like have like words for. That's not something that I did. It just happened. I feel like you're just like blown wide open. Like your you know, your heart like expands, like every everything about you expands, I would like say. And my intuitive gifts just became so much stronger. Just like knowing that I would have visions, dreams, just in a way that like it just happened. There was not really anything like that I did. And I also feel like interestingly enough, I feel like having my daughters is really what made me reconnect with like the wild woman archetype, which was actually very inconvenient at a time because, you know, you have babies to look after, like you're not sleeping, you're tired, you're breastfeeding, your body's recovering, but yet there's something inside me that just like woke up that I feel like was dormant. There's this like This version of me that just like wanted to just like dance naked around in the moonlight and gather with women and dance around fires and express myself and just be like take up more space. And I really like it did feel like there's just this part of me that just kind of like woke up and it like almost brought me even deeper into like my true authenticity. But through that journey, I feel like I had to release a lot of like my old. Life, a lot of like old relationships, a lot of old beliefs, having like stronger boundaries was also huge. Just being like, I now, like, this is no longer just about me. I'm thinking about how do I want my daughters to move through the world? Because how I want them to move through the world, I need to do that first because they're gonna learn from me. So I feel like just the deepest embodiment that I could imagine really for me, like clicked into next level when I became a mom.
Sasha Pearl: So sweet.
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: I th I think I mean from this entire conversation it's just like it feels like everything comes back to I'm choosing a better life, not only for myself but for my for my family. And I love I just
Deimante: Hmm. Yeah. And everybody gets to make that choice. Like we can literally wake up and be like, I choose a different story. I choose a different way of being. I choose a different reality. And I I do fully believe it starts within, like we choose it, and then our external circumstances, our external physical reality rearranges itself to match that.
Sasha Pearl: yeah, one hundred percent. And I also just feel like it's not it's actually really it it f I feel so deeply sad that people forget that we get to choose.
Deimante: Mm.
Sasha Pearl: I actually don't feel like that's like an innate thing anymore. for pe like to wake up and be like, Well, I'm just in a bad mood today, so I'm gonna be in a bad mood today, right? Or like, well, this thing happened, so this is just what it is, versus like, what if we could just like zoom out and then be like, Okay, what is the highest version of how my day could look like today that I'm like consciously aware of, and then start choosing and making decisions from that place? Like that just feels like imagine what the world would look like. I'm like,
Deimante: Wow, that'd be so much better.
Sasha Pearl: Exactly. well that is so that is so beautiful. So I'm going we're gonna start wrapping up here. this is a question that I ask all of my podcast guests. So if someone were to really know you, what would they need to know about you?
Deimante: Why was this not in a form I filled out? I didn't prepare for that.
Sasha Pearl: A hundred questions later and you didn't tell ask me this one question.
Deimante: I think really if I think in a lot of ways, like sometimes how people tell me how I present them myself to like, like you're so confident and like everything just like feel so easy for you. And like I had one from being like, Whenever I'm facing something hard, I just like ask myself, what would they monte do? And I'm like, that just blows my mind away because I think like if people like really like truly, truly knew me, they knew that I feel things. So deeply. there's been many nights where I literally am just sobbing in bed about the world and my husband is like, Why? Why are you thinking about this? so I think it's that. Like I feel like I just move through the world with just feeling everything like deep in my bones, like the good and also like the bad and the hard, just everything. And sometimes that makes being a human a little challenge. Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: Yes. De Monte's core gift is Gate 27, which is like the gate of nurturing. So it makes sense that you're like, Yes, I see all this pain in the world and you want to nurture it all. And also you are one human being. And
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: what's beautiful too is like you get to create the vibration for not only your kids, your husband, for yourself, for your friends and family. and that is inherently the ripple effect that we get to all be a part of when we're in your presence.
Deimante: Thank you. Thank you for seeing me. You're so sweet.
Sasha Pearl: Projector love. So how can people find you? How can they connect with you? And is there anything that any retreats coming up that you'd like to chat about?
Deimante: Yeah, so come say hi to me. I'm at Priestess and Jeans on Instagram and TikTok. my website is priestessandgenees.com. It's a little bit outdated, but it's that's okay. it's one of those like things, it's part of my doing. I'm like, I need to do that at some point.
Sasha Pearl: a business card up for like seven years on my to do list. Create a business card. Seven years. Haven't done it. I know, I know. Anyways.
Deimante: That's a long time. yes, I do have multiple retreats coming up. So one of them, which will be, I know probably by the time this episode is live, we'll have be like almost happening, is an a pilgrimage, secret feminine pilgrimage to Avalon in Glastonbury. So probably people won't be able to join this one, but we plan to do it every year. And that is a land that is just forever change me. And I feel like really want to think about. When did a lot of my spiritual gifts start like opening up? It was when I visited that land 14 years ago. So if anybody has been called Avalon, you should definitely connect with me. I also have reclaimed your wild secret feminine retreat, which is all about working with a wild woman archetype and kind of like figuring out who are you beneath the conditioning of the world and who would you be? Like, who were you before the world told you who to be? And we kind of Go do some really deep healing work. That is happening in September and it's at Brighton Bush Hot Springs. And the land there is so healing and so magical. So it's like you get to be held by the land and these healing waters whilst we do this beautiful healing work. And then I have something kind of like on the opposite end of the spectrum called Practical Magic Witch Camp happening in
Sasha Pearl: Yeah.
Deimante: October, which is really just more about. beauty and fun and pleasure and just like being like if I could like I'm bottling up the feeling of practical magic the movie and putting in a retreat and we're just gonna like have delicious meals and do rituals and sound baths and like read oracle cards in our pajamas and have mocktails probably not at midnight but like and watch the movie and just like be witchy and magical together and my goal is to just like remind women that life life still gets to feel enchanting and we get to choose that.
Sasha Pearl: I love that.
Deimante: Yeah.
Sasha Pearl: That's so wonderful. Well, thank you
Deimante: Thank you.
Sasha Pearl: so much for being on the podcast.
Deimante: Thank you for having me. This was so much fun.
Sasha Pearl: Okay, talk to you soon.
Deimante: Bye.
